Open Letter To Friends + Family Celebrating A Loved Ones Wedding

A wedding is such a special thing for any couple. Regardless if it’s a big celebration or a smaller one, gaining a partner for life is something to celebrate. Over the years, how weddings are celebrated have evolved. Not every person desires a massive event with everyone they’ve ever known and not every couple likes the idea of an intimate or even totally private elopement. Weddings are between two people, so why is it that we’re always taking advice and feeling pressured by everyone around us to make them all happy?

A lot of times when we offer someone advice (solicited or unsolicited) we try to pull from personal experiences. “I did it this way and it was amazing!” or “ugh, learn from me and DON’T have this at your wedding.” It seems any big life event, everyone we love feels the need to weigh in on their thoughts and opinions. For a newly engaged couple, this can be VERY overwhelming.

So often we see couples making choices based on what everyone else around them wants. “My mom wants xyz, my MOH said she hated doing a first look at her wedding, my friend eloped and regretted it….” the list goes on and on. The point here is this –

To put bluntly, weddings are supposed to be for the couple. Not pleasing parents, friends or other family. It’s about celebrating their love, their way. I understand letting go of control can be difficult for loved ones because you think you’re helping but ultimately, couples making decisions for everyone but themselves does not make it a representation of them, but of you.

Large weddings are great, elopements are great! Either way, frankly, it’s not about you. They love you and want you to be part of their support system but don’t need to be made to feel bad for their choice to celebrate their union the way that’s perfect for them. Weddings of any size are STRESSFUL for couples! Being a good, solid support system and not a source of added stress is so important.

How can you show your love and support? Listen to what they want, offer suggestions when asked that align with their vision. Ask how you can help or if you can, help them search for wedding vendors that are their style, help them find a location for their destination elopement and so on.

We know you love them and just want to help! The best thing you can do for a couple who you love that’s getting married is simply be supportive of their vision and the way they want to celebrate.